… Writer’s block.

Or simply, I don’t know how to end this.

So a brief backgrounder then.

Why 30?

Some say the mark began during a time when stories were submitted via telegraph, with “-30-” denoting “the end” in Morse code. Another theory suggests that the first telegraphed news story had 30 words. Others claim the “-30-” comes from a time when stories were written in longhand — X marked the end of a sentence, XX the end of a paragraph and XXX meant the end of a story. The Roman numerals XXX translate to 30.  (got this one from yahoo answers. Yey!)

That settles question 1.

Question 2: Why end The Zen of Zero Expectations?

First of, it’s gramatically incorrect. For 2 years, I’ve been living with this whole gramatical error. It should be The Zen in Zero Expectations.

Second of, I have my reasons. I think it’s high time to end the era of my writing.

I’ve been writing essays since gradeschool. Three highlights of my writing came a decade later, when my essay won Intramuros Administration’s Contest. The piece, “Intramuros as a child” never got published. I don’t know why. I believe it’s a good piece. It’s not historically correct, but then, so is Inglorious Basterds. Anyway, that piece was typewritten, so I didn’t get to save a copy. Sayang.  The other one was in 2001, when my short story “Dump Truck” was included in UP’s Aklat Likhaan ng Tula at Maikling Kwento.  The last one was when I had a shot at infamy – abscbnnewsonline mentioned my blog when I wrote about Manny Pangilinan’s plagiarised speeches.

I know I wrote better and funnier stories online, and in the early part of the decade 2000 I actually got paid for writing. But those were the ones I consider highlights. Maybe because those were the virgin years. At least the first two were. Haha.

So you see, I’ve been writing for over 2 decades. If I were employed, I could retire.

I could retire! Good idea.

It’s a good thing the last piece I wrote was about honesty.

Good way to go.

I really don’t know how to end this.

So I guess, I’ll use what my journalism professor (Thanks Mrs. Yolly Jakosalem!) taught me.

-30-

Music: Natasha Bedingfield’s Unwritten

Honesty.

I never believed it to be the best policy.

Because the truth is, the truth is hard. It is awkward. It is ruthless. Most of the time, the truth hurts.

When you say “I only want the truth”, do you mean it? Are you really ready for such cutthroat, bloody truth? Is someone really ready to face it when the time comes for brutal honesty?

Honesty or kindness?

90% of the time, I’d choose kindness.

Not the other night.

That night I chose honesty.

That night I bared it.

That night I admitted to a mistake. To a result of poor judgment that led to hurting someone – someone I deeply care for, and love.

You know that feeling when you’re hurt? When it feels as if you’re having three root canals in one time without anaesthesia? It was more than that for me. I think it is the feeling of knowing that I’ve hurt someone. I cannot bear it. At that moment I could only wish to take me back to the time when I could’ve made the better decision.

But we live to experience the consequences of our actions. We have to man up and accept the accountability, even for those due to temporary insanity (out of lack of a better term).

Honesty.

Is it worth it, knowing that one mistake’s all it takes for your life to come undone?

Is it worth it, knowing that the one you cared for will most likely never have that same level of confidence (or worst, trust) in you?

Should have I kept the secret and continuously deny everything ?

I don’t know.

All I know is that during that night, I hurt someone with my honesty. I hurt myself in return.

Will it be better?

I’m hoping.

Not today, though.

I would’ve asked him on how to get this photo taken any better,  but I hadn’t slept yet.

So here’s the best we can come up with at 0658H.

It was a sea of adoring fans as Irish Rock Band “The Script” did their one-night only leg in Manila.

It was an emotional night for me, indeed. Having been through a lot this past few weeks, I could say that it was a rollercoaster ride of sorts, and being in this gig was definitely the cherry on top of an emotional ride.

The set list carried a surprising connection to how my life has been (you will have to read between the lines here), and how I see it unfolding in the next couple of weeks, or even months.

It was especially interesting to note how energetic Danny O’ Donoghue was althroughout the night. As if the band is playing their songs for the first time. It wasn’t about anything else more than the music, the stories behind it, their love for their audience (they claimed Manila as their most beautiful audience, most likely because of the sunshine), hard work, and humility.

No other artist has gone down the stage to connect to the fans, even giving them a chance to sing their songs. O’ Donoghue did.

The concert opened with the rousingly anthemic You Won’t Feel a Thing. Some state that I would want to be in at times (Xanor does not help anymore, and multiple doses of Advil no longer make a difference like it used to).

The next songs summed up what I wanted to do but wasn’t given a chance to do so.

The band played Talk You Down and their first smash hit, We Cry. Danny O’ Donoghue’s haunting vocals matched the urban arrangement of the song. Suddenly, it wasn’t as sad as I thought the rendition would be.

What’s good about the sets is that from time to time, he joins in on the party. He ran, covered the stage from side to side; he’s there to show him self and his band – up close.

As if he knows how I’ve been feeling all week, Danny O’ Donoghue and the boys continued on to play whatever it is that most heartbroken people would want to shout out loud.

If You Ever Come Back, Before the Worst, If You See Kay (get this?), The End Where I Begin, and Science and Faith gathered a sing-along Manila audience to the top of our lungs.

The last 5 songs for the set has established the heartfelt and sincere lyricist in O’ Donoghue.

When he opened The Man Who Can’t Be Moved a capella, the crowd joined in. It was a beautiful sight according to the band. He followed it with I’m Yours, Nothing (a song about drunk dialling according to them),  Dead Man Walking, and Rusty Halo.

The encore, For The First Time, is something that we definitely needed. I believe I heard a sampling of This Is Love, but I was so overwhelmed I couldn’t be so sure.

The night ended with Breakeven, to a deafening reception from the crowd.

When a heart breaks, no it don’t break even.

True.

A matter of taste perhaps.

I read some comments that they find this bully-ish; some say exploitation.

I say this is downright tasteless. Not only because he’s a six year old kid, but because it’s Willie Revillame cheering on and finding this one fun and entertaining.

The Philippines is known to travelers (locals and foreigners alike) as a great sandbox – an awesome concoction of blue waters, fine white sand, and a paradiso type of a lifestyle.

But apart from Boracay, how many of us exactly know of places in the Philippines where the sands are fine, tides are relaxing, and the sunset is a spectacle?

Menardo “Butch” G. Jimenez, Jr., Senior Vice-President, Retail Business Group PLDT and OIC, Wireless Consumer Division, Smart Communications, has a simple advocacy – “To trumpet to the world that the Philippines is the World’s BEST Sandbox!” .

And very rightfully so.

In the desk calendar, World’s Best Sandbox 2011, Mr. Jimenez captures 12 of the Philippines’ best beaches, and gives everybody a reason to go to these places in the country.

One need not spend so much money to enjoy the Philippines.

Foreigners and local travelers such as myself can thrift up, get a good value for money, and still find an enjoyable weekend in our very own tropical heaven and experience the inviting island lifestyle.

You ask how?

Enter the Philippine Travel Agencies Association (PTAA) and the 18th Travel Tour Expo 2011.

The travel mart is scheduled to run from February 18 to February 20, 2011 at the SMX Convention Centre in Pasay City, Philippines.

Dubbed as “Around the World in Three Days”, the event targets to boost up the Philippines, and provide its visitors “an extravaganza of deals, as well as loads of showstopping performances” (according to Pat Alberto, chair of the 18th Travel Tour Expo 2011).

In the meantime, here are some of the snapshots taken by Mr. Jimenez and featured in his desk calendar.

Did I mention that the calendars are free? To get a copy, please email Mr. Jimenez through butchgjimenez@yahoo.com . Local residents outside of Manila can have someone pick up the calendars on their behalf (the office is in Makati City). Those out of the country can have their calendars via snail mail.

Get up. Go out. Explore the Philippines.

1) 127 hours is an adaptation by Danny Boyle and Simon Beaufoy from a memoir by Engineer Aron Ralston about his experience in 2003, when he was pinned down by a boulder in an isolated Utah canyon until he frees himself after, you guessed it right, 127 hours.

2) Danny Boyle and his team of visionary photographers and editors (editor Jon Harris and co- directors of photography Anthony Dod Mantle and Enrique Chediak) are a group of extreme visual artists. How they managed to pull off split screen stops to show analogy of the main protagonist’s life is amazingly executed, enabling the film to cross a line from it becoming an almost documentary.

3) The movie is fast-paced. The accident happens 15 minutes into the film. No fuss, no frills. Nothing melodramatic. A rock is dislodged, crushing Aron’s right forearm and trapping it against the canyon wall. He pulls and yanks to no avail. Over 127 hours, one could only hope for it to end soon – but not Aron. He has a bright idea.

4) I’m not sure if Brillante Mendoza’s epic scene in the Cannes Film Festival awardee “Kinatay” was inspired by Ralston’s memoir, but you sure can’t help but compare. Mutilation was done using a dull knife. If it were any other actor, it would’ve been lifeless and would eventually fall flat. But James Franco manages to reign in spite of the situation that his character got himself into.

This is where James Franco may snatch that Oscar gold from Colin Firth. The former’s expressive face and gestures show much of the character. That scene where he devises a radio show to sort out his issues is spectacularly humorous, yet it makes you feel for the character and sort of understands why he’s such a loner.

5) I’ve read early reviews of 127 Hours comparing the performance to that of Tom Hanks in Castaway. I beg to differ. Castaway is a drama. 127 Hours is full action and adventure and adrenaline rush – even if for 97% of the movie, there’s only James Franco in it.

Machete, in this film though, is not the same character that Pinoys know.

You see, in this Robert Rodriguez helmed movie, Machete is an illegal immigrant, a former Mexican Federale turned renegade. After a shakedown with a druglord (Steven Seagal), Machete roams Texas looking to do yard work in exchange for money.

Michael Booth (Jeff Fahey), a local businessman and spin doctor, explains to Machete that the corrupt Senator McLaughlin (Robert De Niro) is sending hundreds of illegal immigrants out of the country. In order to stop this, Booth offers Machete $150,000 to kill McLaughlin. Machete accepts the murder contract.

Blah blah blah, yada yada yada.

Part of the typical plot is that the protagonist is injured, taken to the hospital, meets all the girls (Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, and Lindsay Lohan). And when he got better, all hell breaks loose.

The movie appears to be an expansion of a fake trailer that was released together with Rodriguez’s and Quentin Tarantino’s 2007 Grindhouse.

It has a B-movie treatment, but with A-listers (yes, we include Lindsay Lohan and Steven Seagal as A-listers out of compassion).

Too bad that this is different from the Machete that Pinoys have grown to love. In the Pinoy version, Rita Avila is a sculptress who creates a masterpiece, Machete, and at night it comes alive (I think because she rubs herself all over the sculpture).

Anyway, the Hollywood machete is shallow, messy and violent. This is my kind of entertainment. But no matter how many scenes like this we come across…….

nothing beats Seiko Films’ version …

Last Sunday, the festival was moved to the UP Film Institute, and will have its run until the 30th.

Admission is FREE.

For more information, click here.

“Thank you so much, Sir for that wonderful question,” she says and then greets the audience, met by wild cheering.

“You know what, Sir in my 22 years of existence I can say that there is nothing major major, I mean, problem that I have done in my life. Because I am very confident with my family, with the love that they are giving to me. So, thank you so much that I am here, thank you thank you so much.”

Don’t get me wrong. I’m still proud of her, I still think she rocks.

But boy oh boy, when you’re already there, you’re already in the Top 5, with a 20% chance of getting the title, you seriously wouldn’t answer that way.

Because let’s think things over.

There are too many things wrong in this picture:

(1) the bun in the hair

(2) the ribbon in the gown

(3) Bret Michaels’ bandana

Take your pick.

PS: Is it me or does Ms Mexico look like a hotter version of Tina Fey?

Postscript :  You have to see this Diane Sawyer feature in ABC News.

Excerpt : After she expertly negotiated platform heels and a bikini, Miss Philippines had been favored to win the whole contest. But with that answer? Raj took fourth, and Miss Mexico Jimena Navarrete took the title. No answer, no crown, it seems.

To be fair, Raj is not the only one who has struggled with that question. Everyone from presidents to job applicants have struggled with their response.

President George W. Bush was asked to name his biggest mistake in an interview.

“Mmm… I wish I, you would have given me a, this written, a question ahead of time,” the president coughed out.

Plenty of smart people find that one question to be a tough one.

Click here for the feature, and the video.